Back Cover Text:
Long ago the witches and the Dreamers got together, and made an eternal agreement to limit the power the Dreamers had over the world. Thus they created the cycle of life in exchange for being invisible to their prophetic dreams.
Now the witches of present day are angry, and want to change the spell their ancestors created, but it will take a lot of careful planning to change what the coven created hundreds of years ago.
The witches kidnapped the younger Dreamer when he was a baby, effectively cloaking him from their dreams. With many years to work their witchcraft on his unknowing mind, they continue to build the resources necessary to change the cycle forever.
Will he join with the other Dreamers to save the land from the witches, or was he corrupted by the long laid plans of the coven?
Back Cover Text:
Emily is a young girl born without a magic talent in a world where talent decides your rank in society. A boy named Ashe shows up, and changes start happening all around her, causing chaos throughout the city. Emily must fight to keep herself grounded, and figure out what to do when the magic is suddenly gone.
UPDATE: 2/22/13 I definitely appreciate all of the advice I received from this post, not only in the comments here, but on the posts on my google+ profile. I took all of those suggestions into consideration and created two covers that I am absolutely in love with, and many others have given praise about them too. I will post them in a blog when the titles are ready to be published.
The Lost Dreamer:
ReplyDeleteBlurb needs a rewrite.
Why are "witches" lower case and "Dreamers" uppercase?
" Now the witches of present day are angry," or are they just a little cranky? OMMPH it up. "Now the Coven is enraged."
The last line. How can he join the other Dreamers if he was taken at birth and doesn't know about dreams. Or is he just shielded from the witches' dreams? Or? It's a bit confusing.
But remember,
you are the creator of this realm
and that makes you a powerful creator.
Dreamers are capped because that is their title in the book. It is a profession. "Dreaming" creates prophecy, which is higher than "King" in this world. I appreciate your suggestions. Thanks so much.
DeleteHi Elizabeth
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind me offering a little bit of constructive criticism? Here goes.
Firstly, you say that the witches and Dreamers 'got together', which is a little bit weak. Why? It seems that the Dreamers have their power restricted, so did they lose a battle?
Then you say 'they' created the cycle of life after being invisible to 'their' dreams, but I don't know to whom you are referring; the Dreamers or the witches?
Then you say the witches today are angry - why? You talk about a spell - what spell? The Dreamers seem to be the ones who got the rough deal, why are the witches angry?
The whole thing left me rather confused about who did what and why. You need to be a little more clear and also try to add a bit of drama in there - remember that someone picking up your book will decide to buy or not on the basis of what you write on the back; you need to lay the main thrust of the story out simply and in such a way that people become curious about the story and want to read more.
Roughly like this:
"From the wastes of a war-torn world, two factions, the witches and Dreamers, finally came together and formed a pact to ensure continuing peace by restricting their powers over the people. They swore never to allow such misery to befall their people ever again.
Now, many years later, the people have forgotten these old agreements and the witches, angry at their power being limited, have kidnapped the Dreamers bright young prince in hope of once again taking rule over the world.
Can the Dreamers get back their prince safely? Can he fight the relentless pressure that the witches put upon him to bend him to their will?
Or will their world once more be thrown into misery and destruction..."
Something like that. Of course, I don't know the story so I'm surmising somewhat there.
Regarding the cover, all I would say is that whilst it looks nice, it is rather dull and more likely to send someone to sleep with all those lovely fluffy clouds! Perhaps you could add some bright yellow lightning? Again, remember it needs to catch the eye.
I hope this helps you.
Kind regards
Robsa
No a battle wasn't lost, there was an alliance formed after Dreamers were causing chaos with their prophecy. The witches crafted a spell that limited it to one blood line. The men would have one child in their entire lives (always a son), and they would be the only ones with the Dreamer gift. In exchange for crafting this spell the witches got to be invisible to the Dreaming gift. They lived in harmony within that alliance for several hundred years.
DeleteThe witches of present day are plotting to change the spell that was created (named the cycle of life) in the alliance because they want absolute power.
Thanks for the comments on the cover. I like it, but have been on the fence about it because I wondered if it was eye catching enough. This post has definitely served its purpose. I've received many helpful comments.
Like the lower one... thought I'd like the first, but just too much black.
ReplyDelete